adding a callout to graphile config docs re merging exists-but-undefined options

[jcgsville]

Description

Addresses #2286

When reading through the middleware code, I also noticed one variable was somewhat confusingly named. I recommend changing it to activityName. Happy to do it in another PR or not do it if you'd rather not mix docs with this nitpick code change

Note that running yarn prettier 'utils/website/graphile-config/preset.md' --write with the proseWrap: "preserve", commented out also seemed to adjust a few newlines.

Performance impact

Just docs

Security impact

None

Checklist

• My code matches the project's code style and yarn lint:fix passes.

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