fix: hide notification badge when button is pending and other pending fixes

[snowystinger]

Closes
found in testing

also fixes layout shift that would occur when an avatar action button became isPending
and adds size definition for a pending XS action button

✅ Pull Request Checklist:

• Included link to corresponding React Spectrum GitHub Issue.
• Added/updated unit tests and storybook for this change (for new code or code which already has tests).
• Filled out test instructions.
• Updated documentation (if it already exists for this component).
• Looked at the Accessibility Practices for this feature - Aria Practices

📝 Test Instructions:

🧢 Your Project:

[snowystinger]

how valid do we think this is? I'm not sure how else I would hide the component and since it doesn't change layout, seems mostly safe to allow setting

[yihuiliao]

hmm i feel like it should be fine? if we do add them, we should remember to add the properties to the list of supported css properties in the storybook intro docs

[LFDanLu]

I think adding these should be ok as well

[rspbot]

Build successful! 🎉

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[rspbot]

Build successful! 🎉

• View the storybook
• View the S2 storybook
• View the documentation
• View the S2 docs

[rspbot]

Build successful! 🎉

• View the storybook
• View the S2 storybook
• View the documentation
• View the S2 docs

[LFDanLu]

I think adding these should be ok as well