diff --git a/Haskell/SmackMyBitch.hs b/Haskell/SmackMyBitch.hs
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+++ b/Haskell/SmackMyBitch.hs
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+{-# LANGUAGE OverloadedStrings #-}
+{-# LANGUAGE ExtendedDefaultRules #-}
+{-# LANGUAGE RankNTypes #-}
+
+module SmackMyBitch
+    ( sendMsg
+    ) where
+
+import Network.HTTP.Client
+import Network.HTTP.Client.TLS (tlsManagerSettings)
+import Network.HTTP.Types.Status (statusCode)
+import LoadEnv
+import System.Environment
+import System.Random (randomRIO)
+import System.Process (readProcess)
+import Control.Applicative
+import qualified Data.ByteString as B
+import qualified Data.ByteString.UTF8 as BU
+import qualified Data.Text as T
+import qualified Data.Text.Encoding as T
+import Control.Monad (when)
+
+
+getEnvBS :: String -> IO B.ByteString
+getEnvBS = fmap (T.encodeUtf8 . T.pack) . getEnv
+
+pickRandomMsg :: [msg] -> IO msg
+pickRandomMsg msg = (msg !!) Control.Applicative.<$> randomRIO (0, Prelude.length msg - 1)
+
+apiResponse :: Int -> String
+apiResponse code
+  | code == 201 = "Message Sent Successfully"
+  | otherwise = "Failed to send SMS"
+
+sendMsg :: IO ()
+sendMsg = do
+  loadEnv
+  user <- getEnvBS "USER"
+  stdout <- readProcess "whoami" [] []
+  when (user `B.isInfixOf` BU.fromString stdout) $ do
+    sid <- getEnvBS "TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID"
+    token <- getEnvBS "TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN"
+    myNumber <- getEnvBS "MY_NUMBER"
+    herNumber <- getEnvBS "HER_NUMBER"
+    manager <- newManager tlsManagerSettings
+    msgBody <- pickRandomMsg ["Working hard", "Gotta ship this feature", "Someone fucked up the system again"]
+    let msgPrefix = "Late at work. "
+    let body = [("Body", msgPrefix <> msgBody), ("From", myNumber), ("To", herNumber)]
+    let url = "https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/" ++ BU.toString sid ++ "/Messages.json"
+    initialRequest <- parseRequest url
+    let request = applyBasicAuth sid token $ urlEncodedBody body $ initialRequest {method = "POST"}
+    response <- httpLbs request manager
+    print (apiResponse (statusCode $ responseStatus response))